i can see that it's been a while.

Man. i was caught up in SO much Winona drama i forgot to blogspot. silly silly me.
i really don't think i've ever had this much drama going on in my life, that i did not have any control over. that was an awful feeling. so some semi-good news, jillian and i are at LEAST talking again. cause we're trying this thing, acting grown-up!? and i was talking to my friend tim about the situation and his only response (cause it was via facebook-AIM) was "isn't that a bit childish?" in regards to jillian & i not speaking. so i thought about that for a few days, and decided that i have to act grown up and begin fixing everything that had just fallen apart and broke.
so anyways, i am moving on, realizing a LOT about myself. that when i start a friendship i put my whole self into it, expecting nothing less from the other person. which i guess is scary & asking a lot but i'm pretty sure that's what happened with jillian. and also that she & i have such varying viewpoints, that i didn't know existed regarding relationships and the ways she's changed in the past 3 years, way more then i have!!!! it's strange.
but i am SO glad that we have grown closer and stronger as friends during these years, and we are going to continue to grow :) and that honestly, really! excites me.
so another life lesson learned.

lovelovelove,
CA

update from the "W".

i just discovered, that sadly, jillian and i can't be friends :(
i've almost NEVER been hurt as a friend, in this way, but the way she thinks i can't deal with.
and i'm really sad, but i feel like it takes work to be friends.
she just, straight out, ignores me and that isn't going to make things work.
so i feel terrible, but we've had talks for HOURS. including a 3 hour one saturday night.
and i feel like i just can't.
i have things going on in my life too &&& i need to focus.
so just letting my sister's know what's up even makes me feel better.
so if you could just pray? please? that would be wonderful.

my friend's artwork...

i stink at this

ok i just finished my See's Molasses Chips
i wish i had more.
maybe i'll have meagan get me some
...when you get into master's college!

i really would like to come home & play
the weekend of March 20th-23rd?
i'm going to try hardcore, to get home.
but my funds are getting low.
so i'll be poor! and come home!

so i'm thinking that i just want to be DONE at WSU.
cause after jillian & amber leave, sad news
i'll be here for another semester.
and then i'll be home.

i am also ready for spring & summer
my winter-itis is TOO much now.
ya know? give me warmth!!! and cornerstone?
yesyesplease.

so for cornerstone, i was thinking about my tax return?
or my deposit back from my house?
hah. we'll see. but i really want that to happen.
with my triplets.

so i'll blog more now, the CALI internet was SLOOOOOW

loveloveLOVE,
CA