stoked beyond imagination.

tomorrow is the LAST FINAL I WILL EVER TAKE.
my mind is going 100 miles a minute.
i'm so excited to pack & clean.
i'm so excited to get my CPR/AED certification.
i'm so excited to go home, get my first aid certification, and go to westley's open house.
i'm so excited to get my room organized & put together.
i'm so excited to begin relaxing, working, crocheting, and seeing everyone.
i'm so excited to get my own car.
i.am.so.excited.

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

top 5 things today....

1.
i love you's



2.
yarn, i am SO excited to learn how to crochet & make christmas presents.



3.
mustard yellow.



4.
a mustard yellow house in the snow....i want snow for christmas!



5.
forever21.




love,
ca

7 days of wsu........

on the upside! tomorrow is my last thursday class EVER. so stoked on this!

on the downside- why must i get a headache every night? it's painful & not nice.

i wish i had one of these tonight......

i would name her Baya.


love,
CA

top things that i like...

1. storms. i love them a lot, and i also love watching stormchasers. sundays are AWESOME on discovery.
2.

the ocean. this is laguna beach, cali. wonderful & they produce great drama. OH! and in and out. imissitSOmuch.
3.
i almost ALWAYS get my drinks iced. except breves. but i just love the coldness. mmmmmmmm.
4.
this band is really quite amazing. besides giving great shows, they lead by example & i am very impressed by them. as you all know.
5.
LOLcatz are the funniest one-liners, ever! this is my favorite one, enjoy :)
6.
these weirdos, i get to see them tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7.
minneapolis. i love st.paul too, but spot 7 goes to minneapolis (612).
8.
'rooms & 215. my college experience.
9.
STARGAZERS.
10.


a 3-way-tie between SHARPIES (andrewschwab), weezer (thesweatersong) & theoffice.

welp, there it is. a top 10 list. picture blogs take way too long. but it was fun & if this doesn't post correctly the first time. oh well, it will never be repeated. haha.


love,
CA

can'twaitcan'twaitcan'twait

for my interview on friday @ 2pm.
i'm excited & so nervous.
this has to be it. this has to be MY internship.
my turn to get outta winona, forever.

frusteration.

hey gals! i got up "super early" 8:20am, 40 minutes early, because i couldn't sleep because i am so mad at mandy. i still can't get over her selfishness. all day, everyday i think of wayne & olive and give all my worries to God. this morning, i could not sleep because i was thinking about them and what i should tell mandy & all i can think to do (still) is yell at her!!!!!!!
so, also ironically i woke up and immediately had the "It is You" song in my head, by the Newsboys, so now i'm listening to their worship album. and even though i'm still scared i know they are ok & safe because they are in God's hands.

If I rise on wings of dawn
Or drift in seas of doubt
Even there Your strong right hand
Has never failed to guide me out

Great is Your faithfulness
To carry on with a sinner like me
Great is Your faithfulness
Turning shame into victory
Your grace has never let me be
Your mercy�s waited patiently
Oh, so great is Your faithfulness
To carry on with a sinner like me

If I hide in dark and shadows
Fearful of each day
Even there Your blinding light
Illuminates my pathway

Goodness never
Never fails
It never fails me

keep praying for them, for mandy specifically, for my family <3

thank you!!!

love,
CA

ummm pictures of my absurd hair.

the glasses aren't mine, they are my friend ashley's, she left them here after halloween. she wore them & my 6-1-2 sweatshirt and her "bling/bling" hat and she was a baller. it was awesome.

see you this weekend :) :) :) :)

love,
CA

highest & lowest.

whenever my friends come down for the weekend, i get SO SO SO sad when they leave and continue on with life...and i stay here and continue on with school. i'm very much ready to be donezo with school & winona & the lack of family down here.
i have horribly sad news, mandy went off the deep end & moved the kids to wisconsin. baldwin, wisconsin. which is an hour away, w/o traffic. this may sound easy for a lot of people & i'm SO HAPPY that it's only that far away. but for me, my whole family lives together and even though we have drama some times...we don't pack up and leave for no reason. i can't believe she took them away from us. their only family and stability.
i've been trying really hard to give this one to God, but it's so hard for me trust that they'll be ok without a weekly update from my mom or anna (when she babysat). because those are truthful updates, not fake phone ones.
on friday afternoon, i have having a GREAT day. i set up an interview with this internship that i want SO BADLY, followed by one of the worst phone calls ever telling me that my wayne & olive are moving to wisconsin. it was the highest (besides alyssa's engagement) & lowest news of this year, so far. i thought about it all weekend, i talked to wayne on the phone on saturday and he sounded excited. but i'm so scared. and i can't concentrate on school or anything.
i haven't told anybody but you girls, but i just find it so hard to even say. 3 days later it still hurts, but i realize it's NOT the end of the world. and wayne & olive could never forget all the love we have for them. all i hear is wayne saying during one of his mom's arguments, "if mom leaves, take olive and i want to stay with you". it makes me so scared that he won't have me there to protect him. he's only 6 but i wish i could buy him a cell phone and for him to be old enough to call me and tell me everything. the thing that hurts the most is that mandy did not & has not yet told me that she's moving. she's pulling wayne outta school, taking olive, quitting her job and moving outta state. she didn't bother to call me or tell mom, my mom found out through mandy's roommate jennifer and told me.
not to dump this on you, but i needed to tell you & i still cry when i try to explain it to people.
please pray for their protection and mandy's mental & emotional stability. this is entirely in God's hands and He will make good out of it.

a thought for thanksgiving break....

when i come home i was thinking that we should be artsy & go to either the "art of this" gallery on nicollet ave in minneapolis or the walker art center. partly because i am in an art class this semester and we've talked about these galleries alot and i've looked online at different shows they are currently showing & they look good :) plus, we could take PICTURES! yay! and awesome ones at that.
what do you think?

some late night thoughts, before an early morning.

my goodness, this weekend is going to be amazing.
this weezer song is my new love:

The moon was shinin’ on the lake that night.
The Slayer t-shirt fit the scene just right.
Through smeared mascara, I looked into your eyes and saw a light.
You told me stories about your chickadees
They didn’t like BB guns or stupid archery.
The jumbo lifeguard, he let them use the pool all day for free.

Then the conversation stopped and I looked down at my feet.
I was next to you and you were right there next to me.
Then I said, “Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
So make the move. Cause I ain’t got all night.”

The rest of the summer was the best we ever had.
We watched Titanic and it didn’t make us sad.
I took you to Best Buy, you took me home to meet your mom and dad.
Your mom cooked meatloaf even though I don’t eat meat.
I dug you so much I took some for the team.
Your dad was silent. His eyes were fixed to what was on TV.

Then the conversation stopped and I looked down at the ring.
Your folks were next to you and you were right there next to me.
Then I said, “Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
I swear it’s true. Without you, my heart is blue.
Ooohwhoa Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
So make a move. Cause I ain’t got all night.”

So much pain may come our way.
There may come a day when we have nothing left to say.

When the conversation stops and we’re facing our defeat.
I’ll be next to you and you’ll be right there next to me.
Then I’ll say, “Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
I swear it’s true. Without you my heart is blue.
Ooohwhoa Girl, if you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.
So make a move. Cause I ain’t got all night.”

ok, i love being a hopeless romantic & a ppt. i will love it always!
but i'm SO FRUSTERATED with waiting. i need to learn that my time, is not God's time.
gosh that's hard. i feel that i am extremely patient, i feel that i could go on and on without a boyfriend as long as i never lose God. this is I DO understand. and i pray for my future boyfriend/husband every night. and i know God is preparing him and i separately to strengthen us in HIM before we can strengthen each other through HIM. but times like this, another christmas, another new years, another winter, without a special someone, a boyfriend, that other kind of love- romantic love.
nothing compares to the love i feel with God, but, as i STILL HAVE YET to read c.s.lewis' the 3 loves, i know that God created humans to love each other. to find "a mate" if you will, and that love will be incredible. and yet, HIS love is greater. baffles my mind. but makes me SO excited to meet mine.

love,
carrieanne

pulled a meggers. new pics are more fun then...

reading :/:/:/:/

the agenda-less faith.

Andrew Schwab;

"I cannot overemphasize the importance of what I like to call “the agenda-less faith.” I believe that we are not called, as Christians, to sermonize or attempt to convert every single person we meet. We aren't commanded to make a shallow pitch, a clever presentation, or a witty speech. Nor are we meant to be proud bearers of "bumper-sticker Christianity," complete with tactless t-shirts, tracts, and tokens which advertise spiritual slogans. God doesn't want telemarketers. Why? Because no one likes salesmen. I believe we are called to love, through all things. Jesus said this was the greatest commandment. What will separate us from the false and the shallow? An authenticity that says we have nothing hidden behind our eyes, nothing to sell, nothing to coerce people into. Just a real faith that translates into everything we do. We don’t need to do anything beyond naturally allowing Him to be displayed in all we do. Then people will gravitate toward what we have hidden inside of us, and we will not need to plot or manipulate. When we are authentic in our love our fruit will be lasting, and those who are affected by us will be affected profoundly. That is faith without an agenda."

back at school

so i'm writing today because i've just completed my first week of school and now it's saturday afternoon, and i'm avoiding reading (as usual) and just sipping this new Pumpkin Cappuccino mix i got yesterday at a whole foods store. whenever you come down to visit me we'll go there. it's amazing & i never knew it was there. anyways, i woke up this morning thinking that i would LOVE some tacojohns & starbucks and it made me think of Amelia & my first trip to Forest Lake...where she cried the whole time until she ate and slept for several hours. and i could've totally had some deliciousness, until, halley went to work all day & i'm carless. sad moment.
i miss everyone a lot and i hope that soon i develope some kind of system where i'm not counting down the weeks until i get outta here- i'm pretty sure things will speed up around here and i start volunteering this week! so that'll take care of some hours...
i was showing my room mate from south korea pictures of wayne/olive/amelia and i kinda wanted to cry cause i miss them! and allie posts pictures every week (cause i asked her to) and amelia is getting so big and older & cuter. i misssssssssss her! it's almost september, baller! so what day are we going to see Showbread? jackie and i were thinking the buffalo show? i'm SUPER stoked. i need to buy my train tickets asap and then i'll be home. yay!
oh! and every friday & saturday night on A&E they plays hours and hours of criminal minds, it's wonderful. and brings me right back to the hansen's basement. iloveit! and i've started watch Bones, and that show is great. i never thought i'd like it...but with lots of time on my hands i've found that it's great and hilarious.
just fyi.
and i'm getting the hair dying itch REALLY BAD. so whenever i get my paycheck (this thursday) i may need to go get some colors put in!!!
ok friends, i love you all! and i'll ttyl.

carrieanne

yup, i totally forgot about secret blogging :)

but i'm back!
and summer has been flying by because of my insane schedule, that is straight up nuts. but worth it? most deffinitely.
i went for my first real run of the summer, 1.5 miles, and my shins hurt like the dickens today &&& my abs. yay running! i'm going again when i get home from work this evening/ tonight.
soon i'll have money again, working is good for something! speaking of work, i'm here right now. and i'll be here probs till 3. then it's the weekend. and time for not working. hahaha && triplet time! maybe tanning time? if the weather cooperates & gives us heat and lots of sun. i just looked up the weather predictions...no tanning :( ohwell.
stonearch festival is coming! my new favorite june tradition! this year is going to be lots of fun, cause there is no working after the festival. which means no worries.
yay! back in the summer swing of things, OH! and i'm teaching a biblestudy this summer for the youth at NewLife. which is very cool, God is gooooooood.

loveloveLove,
CA

pink tux to the prom

that song is stuck in my head,
especially the,
"do do do-do dooooooo pink tux to the proooooooooomm" part,
so now, it's probably stuck in your head :)
i'm secretly blogging, cause it's been a little bit, but i'm so excited for alyssa's graduation & to be DONEZO for the summer.
i cannot even believe that summer 09 begins (for me) on thursday on this week, i'm in shock.
but also i'm really sad- cause i'm going to miss my house & my roommates. but we're trying to get together at least once a month and we'll be texting freaks!! lots of tears on thursday- but as jillian has been saying- "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

i'm so thankful for my time at winona, and my time at home these past 4 years! i'm so excited that my mainest is moving back to where i can see her weekly and i'm stoked for summer with my girls :) that is TRULY my favorite time of the year!
i'm looking forward to our summer dinners, updown & downtown visits, working with emily & the grandmas, THUNDERSTORMS & RAIN, eagle river trips :) so much to do!!!!!

ok, wish me luck! 1 final at 3:30 and my paper due tonight at 7pm! then i READ psychology until i regergitate everything on thursdays test &&&&& then MICHIGAN!

ps: here's our little guy at school :)




lovelovelove,
CA

i've been thinking....

i LOVE having a crush.


just in time for finals. now i really can't get anything done!


oh, well.


it helps relieve stress :)


tell you ladies more in person.


lovelovelove,
CA

drinking coffee, thinking about days to come!

i'm really SUPER excited for Thursday this week.
#1. it's going to be stinking 80+ degrees down here in winona.
#2. WSU is hosting a "take back the night": which is a march against violence on women, that i am attending :)
#3. only 1 more week of classes after this thursday!

i'm in shock that this school year is just about over. and it makes me really sad but really excited at the same time. which i think is the normal way to feel at the end of your senior year (even if i'm not graduating). i have HUGE plans for the summer and i need to figure out and plan my schedule and money and time accordingly.
which means i need to make a list/calendar! i love lists! theyareexciting!

changes, i'm growing out my hair! like i want it medium/long again! so tell me NO! when i want to cut it all off in about 2 months. okdeal? and i want to go blonde for the summer, and am planning on it- when i get my first paycheck this summer.

MY MAINEST IS GRADUATING!!!! and i'm so excited to see her again. and make a trip to MI with my mom & meggers, what a car full of nuts. it'll be awesome! and we are STOPPING in chicago, no matter what, and having a meal there. and take pictures with that dang bean. like everyone else. hahah.

and lastly, bring on the SUNSHINE/SUMMER 2009!

lovelovelove,
CA

I <3 H. DUFF

hey guys.
i'm bored at 10:36pm, i have lots-o-reading to do.
but it's boring....so i don't wanna do it.
but i must, since i AM discussion leader for tomorrow's class
bummer.
so i think this summer i'm going to take lots of day trips
like to duluth! or uptown! or downtown! or anywhere inbetween! or ikea!
haha. very different places, but i think it'll be awesome.
who's with me?
another thought that just crossed my mind: free coffee
i mean, really, how cool would that be...
tired? here's some free coffee. bad day? free coffee. good day? free coffee!
you know? makes a lotta sense
also.
i want to paint my room this summer, maybe something a little bit darker & different.
it's about time, cause ice blue....ain't my thing anymore
so any thoughts about color just shoot em my way. i'm ready for ya.


ok, readin' time

lovelovelove,
CA




ps: all i want to do is nap & craft. ya know?

update on my life

hey guys! apparently we've all been slacking off these past days/weeks...so i'm going to start secret blogging again. exciting!

SCHOOL: is going, and going, and going. i just want to be done with winona- i've had my fill of people/roommates/homework/lectures/presentations/etc. the whole schooling experience. i would like to update that my roommates and i are all good again :) and everything is healing between us. so that's awesome. today was one of the busiest days in a while, complete with a HUGE psychology exam, 60 pgs of reading & a 4 page reflection, and several hours of class. (and wouldn't you know, i get my stinkin period in the MIDDLE of my exam, complete with immediate cramps & feelings of fainting from pain. the usual.) other then that, i'm going to be searching for internships and field experience hours everywhere...and applying for graduation!

LIFE: as you all know, my little Amelia was born and Wayne just turned 6 and Olive the the cutest little girl ever. my mom was finally diagnosed with osteo-arthritis in her back, so hopefully she can start healing and getting better now. jeff & allie are doing awesome :) what a blessing that everything has turned out so wonderful for them. my whole family is still working on the mandy & jay situation, so prayer is always needed in that case. no boys for me down in winona, just friends. i'm thinking that a boyfriend right now would most likely be more of an annoyance than a blessing, but it's always nice to be crushin on someone....

SUMMER: is almost here. full of times with my girls and my family. probably some of the best times i'll ever have happen during the summer months, when everything is wonderful, and when there's sunshine and rain! oh how i miss thunderstorms and rainy/warm days. my cousin joanna is coming for the month of may so she'll be hanging with us girlies when she's not interning at my aunt's school. we've planned lots of stuff that she wants to do, including a trip to club3. duh. and i miss.... music festivals! anna is finally old enough for sonshine and she's DYING to go. so maybe one more sonshine girls? cause pretty sure that i'm going to go with her :)

NEW FAVORITES: forever21, even though it's been here a while, i'm re-in-love with their summer clothes & awesomely ugly sunglasses. pretty sure by the end of summer i'll have TONS of new shades. i really want a pair of red shoes, like flats or tennis shoes or something...idk i'm just craving a pop of color on my feet. OH! and new flats: huge goal for the summer.

SONG: eric nicholas "song for my future wife" listen to it and love it!

FUTURE: interning somewhere...living with alyssa in 2010? graduation in May 2010 from winona! and, this really freaked me out, turning 24 in 2010! crap man!

lovelovelove,
CA

just a picture

realworldcast!
my loves. haha. ryan is on the right end.
he's beautiful.
and now, he's going out with baya/ in the stripes.
dang.
soonsoonsoon.

lovelovelove,
CA

so i love my guilty pleasure

i watched the whole season of the Real World: Brooklyn and i love it. i love all the drama, i love all the arguments, and i love each character. they are crazy. and then i watched the finale last night & the cast reunion, and ryan & baya are together :)
iloveit.
and i was thinking when we all get together we should watch ALLLLLL of laguna again?
cause there's nothing better then LB with mysisters. mytrio.
this summer is going to be amazing, and busy, and full of work and perfect. ijustknowit!!!!!
soon soon soon, it'll be Easter and i'll be home for the weekend. and the crunch time at WSU getting everything ready and perfect for grading & finals week.
woooot.
i'm excited for skirts, sunglasses, beaches & warm summer nights.

lovelovelove,
CA

i can see that it's been a while.

Man. i was caught up in SO much Winona drama i forgot to blogspot. silly silly me.
i really don't think i've ever had this much drama going on in my life, that i did not have any control over. that was an awful feeling. so some semi-good news, jillian and i are at LEAST talking again. cause we're trying this thing, acting grown-up!? and i was talking to my friend tim about the situation and his only response (cause it was via facebook-AIM) was "isn't that a bit childish?" in regards to jillian & i not speaking. so i thought about that for a few days, and decided that i have to act grown up and begin fixing everything that had just fallen apart and broke.
so anyways, i am moving on, realizing a LOT about myself. that when i start a friendship i put my whole self into it, expecting nothing less from the other person. which i guess is scary & asking a lot but i'm pretty sure that's what happened with jillian. and also that she & i have such varying viewpoints, that i didn't know existed regarding relationships and the ways she's changed in the past 3 years, way more then i have!!!! it's strange.
but i am SO glad that we have grown closer and stronger as friends during these years, and we are going to continue to grow :) and that honestly, really! excites me.
so another life lesson learned.

lovelovelove,
CA

update from the "W".

i just discovered, that sadly, jillian and i can't be friends :(
i've almost NEVER been hurt as a friend, in this way, but the way she thinks i can't deal with.
and i'm really sad, but i feel like it takes work to be friends.
she just, straight out, ignores me and that isn't going to make things work.
so i feel terrible, but we've had talks for HOURS. including a 3 hour one saturday night.
and i feel like i just can't.
i have things going on in my life too &&& i need to focus.
so just letting my sister's know what's up even makes me feel better.
so if you could just pray? please? that would be wonderful.

my friend's artwork...

i stink at this

ok i just finished my See's Molasses Chips
i wish i had more.
maybe i'll have meagan get me some
...when you get into master's college!

i really would like to come home & play
the weekend of March 20th-23rd?
i'm going to try hardcore, to get home.
but my funds are getting low.
so i'll be poor! and come home!

so i'm thinking that i just want to be DONE at WSU.
cause after jillian & amber leave, sad news
i'll be here for another semester.
and then i'll be home.

i am also ready for spring & summer
my winter-itis is TOO much now.
ya know? give me warmth!!! and cornerstone?
yesyesplease.

so for cornerstone, i was thinking about my tax return?
or my deposit back from my house?
hah. we'll see. but i really want that to happen.
with my triplets.

so i'll blog more now, the CALI internet was SLOOOOOW

loveloveLOVE,
CA

hey dollfaces

this is how i will update you all on my california adventures, and hopefully send some sunshine && NO MORE SNOW your way to Minnesota & Michigan. my M&M girls <3>

so today is thrusday, february 27th and it just snowed, about 5 inches.

and i had to buy little travel sized things, less than 3 ounce containers

so that cost me about $40.00

so that was really fun, OH! and i skipped class today.

rebel, i know, i know

now i'm up to my afternoon activities: napping, music-ing, watching gilmore girls,

pretty much everything BUT packing.

surprise!surprise!

OH! i have a swimsuit packed. like i actually am going to wear it or something.

loveloveLOVE,

CA

spring fever has hit winona

i'm going to
CALIFORNIA on Friday of this
week! i can't even
believe it's here,
already! Palm Springs,
Friday-Wednesday and then home for
then rest of the weekend!

to visit with my Amelia:

loveloveLOVE, CA

AMELIA EVELYN BUTCHER

today i know the heart of life is good:

2/21/09

9:43pm

6lbs5oz

19 inches long

happy birthday amelia evelyn butcher :)

loveloveLOVE,

CA

i am finding inspiration is the weirdest of places.....

SO my lovely ladies, this is a showbread poem.

and i think i love it.

it's werid, but don't we already know that about showbread?!

loveloveLOVE,

CA

Tonight is the last night that I will walk alone. tonight is the last night i will call this place my home. i have fought many windmills, and chased after wind. i've clasped my hands around nothing again and again. we're all just bleeding to death from self inflicted wounds. we're all obtainting careers to provide our dooms. blindfolded and naive. lay our treasures in our fireplaces. place our children on the train tracks and pull the wool over their faces. i have made some twin with selfish ambition and thread. and sewed up my cuts before i'd be dead. i tied knots with faith in the world and myself. living for pleasure and toiling for wealth. i played outside for years with a butterfly net. chasing the wind every day before the sun set. then i cried into my pillow and clinched my fists, and looked for new things to sew up my wrists. ignoring the voice that whispered "goodnight sweetheart.." i refuse to admit the stitches are coming apart. the years all went by and i am alone, everything has turned to dust that i called my own. i can't find something worth anything as far as i can see, the jars for the wind i've been chasing are empty. nothing in this world has lasted or put hope in my heart, the stitches have unraveled and are coming apart. just beneath my wrists i watched this scarlet puddle grow. i can't find anything more that i can use to sew. at the end of my rope is a dangling noose, i have tied while living for nothing, and found nothing of any use. i am tired of fighting windmills and i'm tired of chasing the wind, i will not open my hands to find nothing ever again. then his voice whispered to me before i closed my eyes, "i have already given you my life, so why is it that you chose to die?" then i saw him there standing over me, i covered my wrists, afraid that he would see. i couldn't look in his eyes and i felt so ashamed. i tried to hide all the blood colored stains. and my voice was shaking as i started to cry, i could feel that soon i was going to die. "i have nothing to fill all the holes in my heart ... the stitches have unraveled and are coming apart. i have chased after wind for a very long time, still i have nothing worth saying is mine. everything i did was for nothing and now i'm bleeding to death. and when I'll be dead i will still not have rest." as the blood ran down like the tears in my eyes, the only thing i have heard that has freedom from lies, spilled over his lips on to me. pale and broken. of all of the words i have heard to be spoken. all of the sorrow and all the regret. the years, the toil, the butterfly nets, this wasted life and all of this ... this never ending emptiness ... washed away below my arms in the blood that poured down, the thread and the stitches fell to the ground. his words blanketed me as my pain reached it's end, "I've loved you forever, and my love never ends."

in the summertime when the weather is hot

summer cannot come soon enough. i'm sick of classes...homework...school in general.

i just want summer, and my triplet time for months & months & months.

and then, i, get to come back down to WSU for 1 semester & then internship!

&&& then MY graduation.

i haven't told jillian & amber (nor anyone else) that i'm not going to the WSU graduation

...i'm going out to H-DALE, for my sister's graduation :)

next year scares the crap outta me. because i won't have anyone down here- besides like 3? people that i'm close too, it'll be a challenge, and all i have are dumb classes!

so maybe, that would be a good semester to meet someone?

i'm going to be doing a LOT of coffee shop visits!

summertime, is going to be wonderful! full of working, beaches!, sunsets & sunrises, coffee shops, cabin trips (we must!), life changing decisions and triplet time.

warm weather!

skirts!!

flip flops!!!

BIG sunglasses

(ps, i just order 2 pairs from forever21 accessories, they are HUGE)

!!!!!!!!!

lots and lots of minneapolis time?

oh, and south carolina?! beaches, breezes, southeran gentlemen?

loveloveLOVE,

CA

hi! don't tell jillian (jmo7148)

opalgreen16 (4:07:58 PM): is there a WILD game tonight?
jmo7148 (4:08:03 PM): nope
jmo7148 (4:08:04 PM): tomorrow
opalgreen16 (4:08:04 PM): did you saturday's? i was pissed.
opalgreen16 (4:08:11 PM): YAY! lets watch tomorrow night
opalgreen16 (4:08:20 PM): watch saturday's*
jmo7148 (4:08:31 PM): i didn't
jmo7148 (4:08:34 PM): but i know they lost
jmo7148 (4:08:43 PM): and by wednesday i guess i mean thursday
opalgreen16 (4:08:46 PM): yeah they were up by 3 and than lost 5 to 3
jmo7148 (4:08:47 PM): and it's on KSTC
opalgreen16 (4:08:59 PM): oh well i can still watch it! cause i don't have my night class!
jmo7148 (4:09:10 PM): what are you going to watch it on?
opalgreen16 (4:09:10 PM): or not watch it? cause we don't get that channel
jmo7148 (4:09:14 PM): haha
jmo7148 (4:09:17 PM): i know
jmo7148 (4:09:18 PM): blows.
opalgreen16 (4:09:22 PM): green mill?
jmo7148 (4:09:31 PM): ooo.
opalgreen16 (4:09:31 PM): ground round?
jmo7148 (4:09:33 PM): dude
opalgreen16 (4:09:55 PM): "outercourse". did you know? used to be called "petting".
jmo7148 (4:09:59 PM): i've eaten out thursday, friday, last night, and today
jmo7148 (4:10:03 PM): haha!
jmo7148 (4:10:08 PM): i'm poh.
opalgreen16 (4:10:19 PM): poh?
jmo7148 (4:10:25 PM): poor
opalgreen16 (4:10:29 PM): nice
jmo7148 (4:10:32 PM): i try
opalgreen16 (4:10:37 PM): lots of rubbing...hah!!
jmo7148 (4:10:52 PM): oh great.
opalgreen16 (4:10:56 PM): LOL!!!!!! no entry! (that's your stance)
opalgreen16 (4:11:04 PM): OH. and mine.
jmo7148 (4:11:18 PM): pretty much.
opalgreen16 (4:11:32 PM): pretty much?
opalgreen16 (4:11:35 PM): ohhhh jillian....
jmo7148 (4:11:45 PM): no no!
jmo7148 (4:11:51 PM): dude not gonna lie
jmo7148 (4:11:52 PM): i thought about it
opalgreen16 (4:12:13 PM): welp. me too.
opalgreen16 (4:12:21 PM): but not just for a night
jmo7148 (4:12:34 PM): and friday came damn close
jmo7148 (4:12:36 PM): i know!
jmo7148 (4:12:38 PM): that's my deal
opalgreen16 (4:12:44 PM): oh gross. not with him
opalgreen16 (4:12:46 PM): haha
jmo7148 (4:12:48 PM): haha!
opalgreen16 (4:13:00 PM): and your period? damn gina
jmo7148 (4:13:09 PM): no!
jmo7148 (4:13:12 PM): it was done by then
opalgreen16 (4:13:52 PM): to each their own. i suppose.
jmo7148 (4:14:04 PM): haha
jmo7148 (4:14:06 PM): i suppose
jmo7148 (4:15:14 PM): i think he was getting a little upset about the whole thing though...
jmo7148 (4:15:17 PM): welp
jmo7148 (4:15:18 PM): too bad
opalgreen16 (4:15:23 PM): i can't believe you thought about it with j-bag
opalgreen16 (4:15:30 PM): oh well
jmo7148 (4:15:30 PM): haha why not?
opalgreen16 (4:15:33 PM): ick
jmo7148 (4:15:39 PM): oh carrie
opalgreen16 (4:15:42 PM): i think....differently....
jmo7148 (4:15:52 PM): earlier that day
jmo7148 (4:15:54 PM): at
jmo7148 (4:15:54 PM): um
jmo7148 (4:15:55 PM): chula
jmo7148 (4:16:10 PM): well, casey told ashley about him, and her and cj were asking about him
jmo7148 (4:16:22 PM): and sure enough, when we get to the game, he's standing right by the entrance
jmo7148 (4:16:31 PM): and i'm like "what's up?" and all that jazz
jmo7148 (4:16:44 PM): and they HAD to stop at the concession stand before we left
jmo7148 (4:16:53 PM): and they're like "jillian, he's hot. if you don't tap that, i will."
jmo7148 (4:16:58 PM): and i'm like Good God
opalgreen16 (4:17:25 PM): EWWWWWWWWWW
opalgreen16 (4:17:27 PM): not ok
jmo7148 (4:17:34 PM): haha!
opalgreen16 (4:18:00 PM): anyways, i feel differently about that whole situation
jmo7148 (4:18:11 PM): not by much
opalgreen16 (4:18:13 PM): and about sex. but that's just me
jmo7148 (4:18:16 PM): oh yes
jmo7148 (4:18:17 PM): well
jmo7148 (4:18:20 PM): idk
opalgreen16 (4:19:39 PM): well you should!
opalgreen16 (4:19:45 PM): you're not even on bc
jmo7148 (4:19:45 PM): haha i know
jmo7148 (4:20:00 PM): i know i know
jmo7148 (4:20:41 PM): idk carrie
jmo7148 (4:20:48 PM): i don't want to be 'that girl'
jmo7148 (4:20:52 PM): w/ him
jmo7148 (4:20:55 PM): so i haven't and won't
jmo7148 (4:21:13 PM): but casey's whole stance is getting to me
jmo7148 (4:21:17 PM): '3 months left, fuck it'
opalgreen16 (4:21:35 PM): well that's shitty. and extremely immature of her. is what i think.
opalgreen16 (4:21:55 PM): plus, have you seen her bf's? with the exception of dan?
jmo7148 (4:21:56 PM): i can see that too
jmo7148 (4:22:03 PM): i haven't actually
opalgreen16 (4:22:09 PM): not...so...good...
opalgreen16 (4:22:49 PM): plus they treated her shitty, and that really pissed me off
jmo7148 (4:22:58 PM): yeah
opalgreen16 (4:23:05 PM): and she's used to that.
opalgreen16 (4:23:18 PM): and that's just wrong. no one should be treated poorly.
jmo7148 (4:23:22 PM): i know
opalgreen16 (4:23:25 PM): really pisses me off
opalgreen16 (4:23:29 PM): with anyone
jmo7148 (4:24:09 PM): i guess it's just weird
jmo7148 (4:24:11 PM): or feels weird
jmo7148 (4:24:18 PM): because he's come over how many times
jmo7148 (4:24:23 PM): and we've never done it
jmo7148 (4:24:25 PM): obviously
jmo7148 (4:24:26 PM): you would know
jmo7148 (4:24:28 PM): and
jmo7148 (4:24:31 PM): he's asked before
jmo7148 (4:24:40 PM): and it's understood that anything major like that is up to me
jmo7148 (4:25:13 PM): but i feel like he probably thinks i'm a tease or whatever
opalgreen16 (4:25:29 PM): well he's used to loose girls
jmo7148 (4:25:34 PM): he's not though
jmo7148 (4:25:35 PM): that's the thing
jmo7148 (4:25:48 PM): they hang around, but it's not like that
opalgreen16 (4:25:53 PM): so he says.
jmo7148 (4:26:06 PM): welp, he's been honest about everything else
jmo7148 (4:26:18 PM): and
jmo7148 (4:26:21 PM): i f'ed up
jmo7148 (4:26:23 PM): before
jmo7148 (4:26:30 PM): and didn't tell you about this
jmo7148 (4:26:31 PM): ok
jmo7148 (4:26:31 PM): so
jmo7148 (4:26:36 PM): over break the benchmark thing
jmo7148 (4:26:44 PM): when he stayed over then too
jmo7148 (4:26:45 PM): welp,
jmo7148 (4:26:48 PM): jillian's a dumbass
jmo7148 (4:26:56 PM): and was V.E.R.Y. drunk
jmo7148 (4:26:57 PM): as was he
jmo7148 (4:27:00 PM): and whatever
jmo7148 (4:27:06 PM): we were
jmo7148 (4:27:09 PM): 'petting'
jmo7148 (4:27:09 PM): ha
jmo7148 (4:27:13 PM): i just really wanted to say that
jmo7148 (4:27:33 PM): and my dumb drunkass told him i thought about sleeping w/ him this summer
jmo7148 (4:27:45 PM): so now i also feel like he kinda expects it
jmo7148 (4:27:53 PM): which shouldn't have anything to do w/ it
jmo7148 (4:27:54 PM): and doesn't
jmo7148 (4:27:55 PM): yet
jmo7148 (4:27:58 PM): but damnit
jmo7148 (4:28:00 PM): idk
jmo7148 (4:28:48 PM): and this weekend
jmo7148 (4:28:55 PM): when we met his group of friends
jmo7148 (4:29:04 PM): they were like "so you're jillian?"
jmo7148 (4:29:08 PM): what does that even mean?!
jmo7148 (4:29:12 PM): greaaat.
jmo7148 (4:29:26 PM): and i shed, like a dog,
opalgreen16 (4:29:31 PM): that he has a big mouth
opalgreen16 (4:29:34 PM): i g2g dicussion
opalgreen16 (4:29:35 PM): brb
jmo7148 (4:30:12 PM): and he had his black coat sweater thing over and he was at work and his friend pulled a blonde hair off of it and goes "so who are you seeing?"
opalgreen16 (4:33:42 PM): hah. good thing i payed rent for him this summer!
jmo7148 (4:33:57 PM): carrie!
jmo7148 (4:34:22 PM): welp
jmo7148 (4:34:30 PM): i suck is pretty much the moral of the story
opalgreen16 (4:34:57 PM): no not what i'm saying. at all.
jmo7148 (4:35:05 PM): i know
jmo7148 (4:35:08 PM): but it's true
opalgreen16 (4:35:10 PM): i just think you're better than that!
jmo7148 (4:35:12 PM): why can't i just let it go?
opalgreen16 (4:35:39 PM): cause he's your first, of sorts
jmo7148 (4:35:47 PM): well damnit
jmo7148 (4:35:51 PM): i'm starting to piss MYSELF off
opalgreen16 (4:36:10 PM): but you will feel different and completely sure of yourself when you find your bf
opalgreen16 (4:36:57 PM): and it will be WONDERFUL
opalgreen16 (4:37:10 PM): and you'll just do what you do with him
opalgreen16 (4:38:55 PM): because it'll be for a different reason
jmo7148 (4:39:56 PM): i hope so.
opalgreen16 (4:40:04 PM): i know so.
opalgreen16 (4:41:31 PM): i'm this firm believer that, personally, if something doesn't feel right. at all. it's not. it's not practice makes perfect, it's not try again next time. it's not again....and you move on.
opalgreen16 (4:41:47 PM): it's not ask me in a week.
jmo7148 (4:41:55 PM): it's the moving on part that's hard
jmo7148 (4:42:10 PM): because why isn't it right, why not practice...all that jazz
jmo7148 (4:42:14 PM): i gotta know
opalgreen16 (4:43:12 PM): and, as you can see, i build a wall of hatred towards that person or toward people i don't think are good enough for my friend they are trying to get with. believe you me, i would've told amber if i was not a fan of matt...but i was. i don't agree with sleeping together, but i can't stop them.
jmo7148 (4:43:51 PM): i know he's not good for me
jmo7148 (4:44:07 PM): jeff told casey the appicelli boys were trouble
jmo7148 (4:44:13 PM): which i thought was funny
opalgreen16 (4:44:13 PM): i don't wanna be with a guy who had several experiences, with several girls, or any girl. because he'll be picturing what he did with her...and not me. i don't wanna know about a sexual past of his....i don't wanna know ANYTHING
jmo7148 (4:44:14 PM): but
jmo7148 (4:44:38 PM): carrie i know what you mean
jmo7148 (4:44:41 PM): and i follow you
jmo7148 (4:44:48 PM): but look how well that's working out
opalgreen16 (4:44:59 PM): i have faith that it will work out.
jmo7148 (4:45:01 PM): i'm trying to learn why and what the deal is
jmo7148 (4:45:10 PM): i know you do
jmo7148 (4:45:11 PM): i'm losing mine
jmo7148 (4:45:58 PM): my freaking brother has a gf
jmo7148 (4:46:00 PM): i mean come on
opalgreen16 (4:46:03 PM): see, and that's the thing. i find it really REALLY frusterating that girls who do whatever/whenever. get the GOOD boys, and the boys that will be with them and stand by them forever....and i have to wait
opalgreen16 (4:46:53 PM): but i deliberately remove myself from a situation, that if i don't do anything (ANYTHING) i don't know what i'm mnissing yet.....
opalgreen16 (4:47:03 PM): which is why i run outta houses, before boys try to kiss me
opalgreen16 (4:47:36 PM): which has only happened once...or twice....
opalgreen16 (4:48:17 PM): BRB! i'm moving to the lib to work on my paper
opalgreen16 (4:53:24 PM): do you have any ibprophen with you?
jmo7148 (4:53:33 PM): i don't no
opalgreen16 (4:54:17 PM): ok well we can finish talking later, or never again! but i g2g work on my paper before class. see you at 8:30!!!!
jmo7148 (4:54:24 PM): k
opalgreen16 (4:54:30 PM): byyes black
jmo7148 (4:54:34 PM): lata white

anways, sorry i couldn't finish highlighting my AIM with her AIM. but you get it! i just wanted to get your opinions, on how i did talking to her? i feel kinda like a judgemental asshole....so both your opinion's matter the most to me!

ps. all of my thoughts apply to you two :)

loveloveLOVE,

CA

i'm stoked.

tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i leave at 7:50pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okayokay, remember when....

remember when i met mike? and we watched "what kind of husband, you should NOT be?" that was fun!

i'm excited for our weekend together :) yeahyeah!

i have to hang with lexi, cause she is going off the deepend again.

so mindi & i are getting together with her, to try to fix this situation.

remember when that guy RIPPED ONE at the project concert?

remember when we bought cold duck & drank is on the kowalski's dock && that CREEPER came over to us? hah. loser

remember when we bought housecoats. HAH.

remember when we were obsessed the Olympics, and still are?

remember when we got 7lbs of chiense food, each?

remember when we went to see the paulding lights, and my mom brought 2 mini bottles of wine with? and your family just laughed the whole time, because they were NOT what you expected?!

remember anna's a model? yeah:

remember we are BESTFRIENDSFORLIFE.

ps: remember when you bought this men's health for ryan lochte?

that was AWESOME.

loveloveLOVE,

CA

helllo triplets!

yup. i have a mustache. and it matches my sweater :) i'm so excited for this weekend, i really, honestly, CANNOT wait to be home again with reunited with BOTH of my sisters! we need to take lots&lots and pictures, and ya know, have massive updating &&& 'bou vists. i'm think 96 caribou's meeting room? OH! and jackers too. we need to bounce around ideas of our new apartment?

! since this is just for you two, i'm sitting in my underwear & tshirt & triplet slippers !

loveloveLOVE,

CA

OH! and my niece, she smiles for the camera:

here's what i've been up to...

falling in puddles:(

ending in the WORST wet sock, wet boot, wet everything.

but i am fully stoked to see meggers this weekend.

and see both of my loves next weekend :)

and waiting for my amelia to be born...ps having 2 nieces and a nephew is expensive!

i don't wanna be a singleauntie!!!!!! i spend $20 yesterday at target, on valentines for them and

babyshower stuff for amelia.

oh! and reading this in one of my classes:

loveloveLOVE,

CA

hello darlings.

we should

move to

north or south carolina.

it will be wonderful :)

loveloveLOVE, CA

newhair

first view...........

likeylikey?

loveloveLOVE,

CA